Not too long ago, I joined Facebook by creating an actual account, rather than just having a ministry page.
Thus far, it is not going too well.
In fact, it might be the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life; right up there with frosted tips and flat-ironed hair in my early twenties. (Someone should have loved me enough to say something, but I’ve forgiven them).
Back to Facebook… I don’t get what all the buzz is about.
I don’t understand the difference between “unfriending” and “unfollowing,” nor do I care.
And I was certainly unprepared for all the drama that ensues once someone is unfriended because I did it to a total stranger by accident and they let me know right quick what they thought about the whole bit.
And as the stars of the heavens and sand on the seashore, that’s how many messages I receive daily from Pakistan starting with, “Dear brother…” and ending at some point asking for money.
This… this is our beloved Facebook?!
Something caught my eye the other day from someone in my feed that I still do not know how they got there. They were obviously targeting a specific person in their emotional outburst. It went something like this:
“If you destroy my heart into a thousand pieces, I will pick them all up and hand them back to you.”
Let’s attempt to unpack this for a minute.
Besides the fact that you should have enough dignity and self-respect to NEVER post something so… dysfunctional, outrageous, unhealthy, etc., on the internet…
Besides that, the bigger question is: why do we continue going back to things that don’t work? Why do we keep existing in relational patterns that are dysfunctional? Why do we perpetrate enmeshed family and friendship systems that rob us from true love and healthy freedom?
Here’s the word I want you to embrace deep, deep, deep down:
It’s one of the most empowering revelations you’ll ever receive.
Boundaries are invisible lines that define where someone else ends, and you begin.
Boundaries establish loving, yet firm, parameters that communicate where someone does and does not have a voice into your world.
Boundaries mean you get to decide what your life looks like.
Boundaries love the word, “No.”
Have you ever heard the phrase, “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life?”
I want to rephrase it a bit: “God loves you, and everyone else has a wonderful plan for your life.”
If we are not careful, we will look up 10 or 15 years down the road and find out we were living someone else’s definition of who we were supposed to be, tightly tucked into the boxes they so graciously created for us.
We will be conducting our marriage according to their ideas, not our own.
We will raise our children how they want us to, instead of how we feel is best.
We can neglect our entire emotional and spiritual well-being because we have succumbed to being held hostage through our loved one’s guilt, or manipulation, or anger; rather than living our life the way God is leading us.
It’s time to stop the madness.
When we refuse to set boundaries, we give all our personal power away to others. We get trapped in the hamster wheel of trying to live up to everyone else’s ideals, all the while your self-respect and adulthood are eroding on the inside.
Essentially, you are wasting your life.
I think it’s time to take it back.
Of course, some people don’t respond well to boundaries. Your desire for freedom threatens their need for control.
But that is no factor. Boundaries mean, “I have established this parameter in my life, and I expect – in fact, I require – that it be respected.”
Even God respects our boundaries.
“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hears my voice, and open the door, I will come into him and will sup with him, and he with me.” (Rev 3:20 KJV).
So do you want to stop the madness? You want to break free from manipulation, or intimidation, or control?
Ready to live life the way God always designed it?
Set a boundary. A loving, reasonable, yet firm boundary.
It’s so much better that way.